4/100: Darkness

**Camilla** Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:23 am

To Andae it felt like a lifetime passed. It was however only a week, but one of agony for her and great worry for Torgaul. However, when it had been a week Torgaul felt she had improved so much and was so lucid and taking care of herself, that he could leave her to her own company a handful of hours each day, to go about his own business. Even if he had enjoyed their family-time, cooking dinner for his mate, taking her for little walks and simply the chance to enjoy her company and body again, Torgaul was aching to get in touch with the rest of the world again.

At first time Andae spend on her own, she spend staring into the fire, or up into the canvas roof of the tent. She had nothing to do. No tasks at hand. She tried recalling what had filled her days in the past; however none of those tasks seemed desirable or even important at the moment. She tried to pass time sleeping, but since she moved little in the course of a day, her body never seemed to need any rest until it was a reasonable time at night.

She started walking into the village to see Sunhoof or Moonhorn. Sunhoof’s words filled the black hole that led up to her awakening on the shores of the lake. Sunhoof said scary things. Things Andae couldn’t imagine she’d done, but it would seem she had. Sometimes when she went to see Sunhoof, Moonhorn would be there alone. In the beginning there was an awkward silence between them, but little by little the young druid overcame himself and talked to the scruffy looking troll lady. When they ran out of things to talk about, Moonhorn would heal her. He knew her pain was not in her bones or muscles, it was in her core. He’d sit for hours in front of the sad troll, and quietly attempt to drain her of the darkness that seemed to have flooded her life energy. No matter whom she saw, Andae would always walk from the Taurens’ home with a sense of relief, and meet Torgaul in a lighter mood than if she had spent the morning on her own.

Two weeks after she had been dragged from the lake, after four visits to Sunhoof and three healings from Moonhorn, it started to dawn on Andae what was missing. The two weeks had passed with a sensation of something being very wrong, but without her being able to put her finger on what it was. It was not as much darkness, as an empty space inside her. She had not realized it was missing, because she hadn’t had any reason to miss it. She did not know when it had happened, and Sunhoof made her none the wiser when asked, but at some point she had lost her connection with the arcane flow. It was a loss she could barely comprehend, and the realization sank her once more into darkness.

A week followed that she would barely recall afterwards. Days and nights became an uneven blur as she slipped in and out of deep, dark sadness and grief. Torgaul had no idea what to do with his grieving wife, who refused to tell him what she was grieving for. She would get strange fits of rage, where she’d almost attack him, her eyes flaring green and her mouth screaming at him in the incomprehensible language of the Blood Elves. When the week drew to its end, Torgaul was exhausted and at his wits end and Andae seemed to have slipped into a dark state of mind, which left her barely speaking. The anger and tears had gone, all she felt was guilt. She had misused her wonderful gift, and now all she had left was a body that was barely her own and hands that no longer held any power.

After another week of her brooding, dark mood, Torgaul sensed a change for the better. One morning she had an appetite for the breakfast he cooked, she asked about his training and even ventured to get dressed and stay outside the tent most of the day. The next day she walked to the see the Taurens and returned almost in good spirits. When he returned home the following day there was freshly caught fish roasting on the fire and the tent was so neat and tidy he could barely believe his eyes. He could scarcely believe his luck when he realized his mate had regained her appetite for lovemaking as well and when the week had passed he felt his wife had returned.

A month later Torgaul was sure he had his wife back. She made dinner; she talked, laughed, went places, took her raptor out, went fishing, mended his clothes and made him very happy over all. Torgaul saw her put on a little weight, she got her old glow back, her hair looked shiny and getting out and about did her good. Torgaul didn’t give much thought to what she did when he was away, but she seemed to enjoy time for herself too – he simply enjoyed her good mood and the sheer lack of complications, trouble, danger and worries.

One night it was a little different. She had been quiet during dinner, gone for a lonesome walk in the dark woods and had returned as silent as she had left. When they went to bed the tension had mounted to such a point where it was an actual physical pain in Torgaul’s stomach. He laid flat on his back, with Andae’s head resting on his chest, none of them asleep and aware that the other one wasn’t sleeping either. Just as Torgaul thought he was going shake her to make her speak, Andae spoke.

“Torgaul, there’s somethin’ ah need to tell ya..”

Torgaul swallowed hard. It was never a good conversation-starter. “Ya?” he managed to stammer.

“Ah have good news… And bad news…”

The thing in his stomach grew a little tenser. “B-bad first..”

“Ah lost mah magics.. It’s – it’s gon’, but ahm dealin’ with it..” she sighed. “I’ll be fine.. Jus’ a lil’ strange.. Ya know.. ‘tis like missin’ a foot.. Dun’ worry abou’ it.. ‘tis okay. Ah swear.”

Relief washed over him. She wasn’t leaving, she wasn’t dying.. This, he could live with.. “What’s de good news then?” Torgaul sighed, running his hand through her hair, feeling his stomach unclench.

“’tis be the real scary part..”

Torgaul felt himself tense up again. He wasn’t sure he could handle any scary stuff just now. “Wha’ ya mean.. Scary…?”

“Ah’m pregnant.”